To make a pact with my own demons
An offering must be made:
One part of my mind,
One part of my soul,
And the keys to my heart.
Only then will their hunger abate…
They will retreat again.
How could I allow myself to be quartered,
Torn to shreds if what holds me together
Must be given to them?
Everyone simply assumes…
Begin to believe a lie and everything that follows
Is merely an Illusion.
My mind – a combination of fragility and strength -
Can be shattered,
Scattered to the winds…
But always comes together.
It will take time,
Transformed to something new…
No matter.
Always whole as it was meant to be.
My soul – existing only between myth and reality -
Could live apart from me,
Free to wander aimlessly…
But needs my eyes to see.
It would venture away,
Curious for a short while…
No matter.
Needing sight, it returns to reside with me.
Those demons rest now,
Not because I complied with their demands:
Only through bargaining did I escape
With mind and soul intact.
Creatures of darkness and terror
Long for pretty things,
Objects that shine and glimmer
With light they never see.
So I offered, knowing I’d never regret,
A single key of polished gold
Intricately designed, fragile as lace…
And they took it from me.
No questions asked, no debates made,
Simply smug contentment of victory attained.
The one object in my possession
That gleamed so perfect from lack of use
Was finally gone,
Swallowed into the depths of void forever.
Still asleep, clutching greed in their lonely claws
My demons will never know that they were cheated.
They shall never realize that those things which I most prize
Continue to belong to me.
The keys to my heart, tarnished and worn,
Aged infinitely longer in appearance than my twenty years,
Lie hidden away…
Folded among precious memories of laughter and love.
And there they shall stay
With the exception of one – a recent gift
To the person I hold most dear.
I understand the nature of my success
For not only do I survive whole,
I also live and continue to live with each passing day.
But instead of relishing in an act of deceit
I quietly thank those creatures far gone.
They awakened my appreciation for life in its entirety,
Good and Bad -
And most of all they accepted that key
Which opens my own version of Pandora’s Jar:
A place of deep despair,
Wanting only the shallow sleep death can bring.
So now I walk in the quiet that follows long storms
Calm in the knowledge that I may continue.
That quest for Peace still lies ahead,
The keeper of my heart’s key stands at my side,
And the world for me again shines
In a radiance of mystery and wonder.
All because I made a final pact.
W .Aziz 1992
